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Loving you ♥
傻瓜，我从来没有要求什么。

我知道你还没确定你要得是什么，你只是对这段感情没信心。在怎么说，你也没碰感情这东西那么久了。一定会没信心。

你也是因为你的过去，而失去信心。我知道你没有玩弄我的感情，我知道你没有。

不要说你没信心，我自己也没信心。在怎么说，我也有一年多没碰爱情了，我也没信心。我们都有被伤害过的痕迹，所以我们都不希望在彼此心里在留下一些不需要有的痕迹。

傻瓜，我不希望因为过去而放弃爱人的权力。你说我是个好女孩，你错了。如果我是个好女孩，我就不会有那么多的不完美的爱情。

我读了你的博课后，我觉得你应该振作起来。不要在被这些让你难过的事影响你的心情。影响你对爱情的看法。

其实每个人都有做错的是后，那些事情也成为了过去。就让它们留在过去。你只需要反省，你应该面对。

不要因为害怕而不去尝试。

It's not being unfair to ask me wait for you. Cause i'm going to wait. Even thought there's no hope, or if there's nothing much i can do. I just want you to know that i will still try my best to let you know that 爱情并不可怕. i'll let you know that i'll never regret in loving you. Cause loving a person is a kind of happiness, a kind of joy.

Please don't ask me to give up. Please don't ask me to let go. Please don't ask me to not love you. Cause i've forgotten how to let go, how to give up, how to not love a person.

Let me continue to love you, will you! I'll wait till the day when you're stabilised with school work, stabilised with feelings, stabilised with everything. I'm willing to wait :)

and the reason is becaus I LOVE YOU. ♥

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POSTED BY RuiJia. ON Thursday, 30 June 2011 @ 21:18
Heart felt words
I'm back, back to spill out things.

I don't know what went wrong. But I still feel the distance in us. Although you told me your feeling, how you feel about us, but I still think there's something still missing. I tried my best to pull our distance closer, but why whenever I tried to take a step nearer, I feel as though you're taking a step back?

What do I get in return when I tried so hard? I really don't know? Will I really get your whole heart in the end? I really don't know. But I'm still going to try. Till the day I leave the world. Till the day God choose to take me away from you.

Sorry if I'm becoming a burden to you. Sorry for being such a f**king bitch in your life. Sorry for making you feel tired. Sorry for making you unable to concentrate in studies.

I realised I'm really a bitch, a f**king bitch. HAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAH! I JUST CAN'T STOP LAUGHING ABOUT MYSELF! A FAILURE, A BITCH, WHAT'S MORE?

Cried myself to bed all night, thinking about all kinds of shit stuffs. Woke up with a smile, because can get to see you. But looking at the distance between us, what the f**k is wrong!

I feel that you're still unable to let go of the past, the moments that they gave you. Sorry that I can't erase them, cause they're your past. I know you're struggling, even though you always say you don't feel a single thing when you think about them. But my senses tells me you are! If not you won't cry as you walk the route again.

Sorry if I can't write you the same type of stories that they wrote for you in your life, cause I'm not them and I never will. Do you know how hurtful it is for me to see you tear for it? Do you know I can't stop thinking that it's my fault for not making you feel my love? Do you know that I hate it to see you emo-ing your way?

F**K! I THINK I'M A F**KING FAILURE. EVEN THOUGH THIS ROUTE, I'VE TO WALK ALONE, BUT I AIN'T GIVING UP! EVEN THOUGH THIS ROUTE IS FREAKING HURTFUL, i'M STILL GOING TO WALK THROUGH!

I DON'T CARE WHAT YOU THINK ABOUT YOU, WHAT YOU THINK ABOUT ME, WHAT YOU THINK ABOUT US. BUT I'M NOT GIVING UP! I'VE GOING TO LOVE YOU TILL THE DAY I DIE! TILL THE DAY GOD WANTS TO TAKE ME AWAY.

SORRY THAT I'M NOT LIKE OTHER GIRLS, NOT GENTLE, NOT BEAUTIFUL. But that's who I am.

Why on earth am I posting all this? I just want to tell you that, no matter what, I still love you. I really do. Believe it or not, it depends on you. I'm trying my best. I really am. Good night, my love.

♥,
Rj.

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POSTED BY RuiJia. ON Wednesday, 29 June 2011 @ 23:21
사랑해요 只對你說
Specially for J♥,
宝宝，我知道我这样让你很不自在。但这是我所feel到的。可能是因为你突然对我很冷淡，所以我怕你会变心，我怕你会说离开我，怕你会对背的女生好，怕你说其实你没我想象中的爱我，怕你突然要放手。我知道，是我想太多，但是，这也是难免的。
我只想你知道，我是爱你的。现在，我是爱你的。如果上天要我们分开，我想，我们都不能做什么。但我相信，如果我们肯努力，上天会知道我们是真心爱对方的。祂会被我们的爱而感动的。♥　你不相信我，也要相信你自己。
只要有爱，什么事都能解决的。只要有信心，什么都能克服。只要有你，我的生命才会精彩。

♥，
Rj.

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POSTED BY RuiJia. ON Sunday, 26 June 2011 @ 00:31
Stress like dog!

Went to meet my group mates for our project work..

We are suppose to meet at 2pm, at tamp lib. But I'm late, as usual. Thanks for all the delays at home :( Went to look for seats, but full with people. So have to look for alternative place to work on our project.

Try our luck at McCafe, but failed. Settled down at Burger King instead. Thought we would spend hours on it, but who knows, we finished it in 30 minutes :D How fast right?

Went to walk around the 3 shopping centers. Got myself a mascara, Hello kitty one :D $15.10 after discount (U.P $18.90) Happy! Cause I misplace my whole make up kit D:

Thought of meeting J♥, but he's busy. And I asked him too late, so ended up didn't meet :( Haven seen him for like 15 days already! FIFTEEN SOLID DAYS LEI! I want to cry already! I miss him until I'm going crazy.

Maybe because too long never meet up, too long never communicate, I'll tends to think a lot. Which results in us feeling not happy. I think I'm a failure lover, a failure girlfriend :( But I'm sure, everything will be how it used to be and even better when school reopen♥

♥，
Rj.

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POSTED BY RuiJia. ON Saturday, 25 June 2011 @ 21:58
Im such a bitch!
Im sorry, for being sucha bitch for these few days.

But I have the feeling of things changing in between us. Sorry if I feel this way, but I don't feel the strong love from you anymore. Maybe Im thinking too much, but from the way you treat me too. I feel that we're drifting apart.

Im really sorry for being such a bitch. Maybe because in the past ten days, we didn't really contact much. Then when I reach Singapore, you seems to treat me cold. Of course I'll think too much. Will think about you falling into other girl's hand. Think about what changes everything.

But after what Tracy told me, I realised I've mistaken you. I realised Im just being selfish. I realised I've to make the move too.

I promise you that I won't think so much upon such issues anymore. I promise you that we'll be alright and go on together till we grow old.

我会永远地爱着你。你是我的唯一，我的全部。♥

♥,
Rj.

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POSTED BY RuiJia. ON Friday, 24 June 2011 @ 14:08
Ten days away from J♥
Im back from my 10 days trip!

Actually, I don't know this trip to China is something good or bad.

BUT I SWEAR TOO MANY THINGS HAPPENED IN BETWEEN. I don't wish to talk about this trip to china.

All I can say, it's very tiring....

I think photos will explain the whole trip in china, they'll be uploaded in Facebook. So stay tune for the photos in Facebook then :)

♥,
Rj.

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POSTED BY RuiJia. ON Thursday, 23 June 2011 @ 23:15
Copied from pinknosebunny CAUSE LAZY TO TYPE :/


Eileen's 18th birthday!
Oh yes, i totally loved that day because i managed to meet my girls! And surprisingly, Cy turned up for her birthday so it's just double happiness. hehehe. ^^
Although, her birthday plan was a failure because of the heavy downpour that day but overall it still turned out great!
Thanks to Fish & co.
We went shopping on that day and did loads of catch up too! Then when it was going to be dinner time, we tricked her to the toilet to answer our nature calls. After the girls went into the toilet cubicles, Bev and i ran to the bakery to get the birthday cake. Then, we ran to Fish & co and tell the waitress about our birthday surprise plan. Hehehe, and everything just turned out to be fine!
Because Eileen really got surprised by the cake and gift from us. And the shy period whereby she got to stand on the chair with a sparklers on her hand and everybody just started singing birthday song to her. She was touched to tears kay, so glad ^^
After our dinner, we walked around orchard road and took pictures. We had so much fun laughing and taking pictures.

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POSTED BY RuiJia. ON Saturday, 11 June 2011 @ 19:30
Girls♥
Am going to meet them up on Saturday♥

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POSTED BY RuiJia. ON Thursday, 9 June 2011 @ 02:06
Just for you♥
Dear JAWJ,

I know you're reading my blog now. I know you're thinking what I post is not from my heart, you know what I mean.

I just want to tell you, no matter how awesome/hurtful/happy/sad your past is, that's your past! And I know it won't affect our progress and our future!

Cause I know, our future are in our hands. Not in the hands of your past! Though I'll get jealous about how good you treat the things you and her once hold together, like Baoblue, your hammies, your soft toys and etc. But I know, they're the past and Im your future.

We've just started, so not much of memories for the future us to remember together. But as time goes by, there's more sweet moments with you ♥

With you around with me, I feel so loved, feel so comfortable. I don't have to act in front of you, though I did it with my previous ones when we just know each other. Maybe because you saw how crazy I am in camp, so I don't have to act anymore. ♥

BBJ, I want you to know. I ♥ you! And that's the fact. I don't care how people think about us, cause I know deep down my heart, there's only you! It's gonna be now and forever. I need you by my side, so that Im not scared to walk this route to our future alone.

Im scared to walk alone already, so now, you're by my side to walk with me. So please, don't let me to walk that scary route alone anymore.

♥,
JHRJ

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POSTED BY RuiJia. @ 01:47
Fifth, ♥!
Warning! WORDS ALERT! AND IT'S ♥ ALERT TOO~ :>

Sorry people, have been busy with life.

Had my 2 term test on Monday and Tuesday. Ok, Maths first on Monday, was a little screwed up, cause I don't really know how to do section B D: I only hope I could pass for this paper, I would be happy enough!

And my J♥ is crazy, he didn't do well for this paper and he went to freaking punch that pillar of the bus stop! And the most regretful thing is that I didn't stop him! I looked at him punch the pillar! OMFG! I REGRET FOR NOT PULLING HIM! AHHHHH! HATE MYSELF FOR BEING SUCH A LOUSY LOVER D;

And because 我不放心让他自己一个人回家，我把他送到他家附近！But before that, he bring me to buy BubbleTea (BBT) , and I think he's addicted to Ice Cream Milk Tea, cause every BBT shop he go, he will ask the auntie whether they got say Ice Cream milk tea. That's my Cute BBJ♥ Drank BBT, and walked him to the bus stop nearer to his house. And bus home alone :)

因为只要他平安无事的回到家，我才放心。因为我怕他趁我不在的时候，做出一些很傻的事!

Had Engine Fund Paper on Tuesday, have confidence except for the freaking last question. Don't freaking know what is it about -.- Screw the question! And marks flew because of my freaking careless mistakes, I think my eyes got stamp! FML! When can I get rid of this careless mistake symptom!

After the paper, went dating with J♥ Accompanied him home first to put his file, then we bus down to Orchard! Wanted to go to Smudge first, but shop not open yet. Thus, we went for a movie first. "MIDNIGHT FM"

It's a freaking nice show! Though I can't understand what they're talking, cause it's in Korean, but there's subtitle. Omg, the story line is awesome! Rating 4.5/5 Though the theater is super empty and super small, but I love the movie ♥

After movie, went to Smudge, J wanted to buy his S.M.G towel, but it's like not nice. Then we walked over to 313 and look at his Manhattan Camouflage backpack(?) But he didn't manage to find it. Thus we left that place.

We then walked over to the MRT, looked at the map and see where should we go. And we ended up planned to go Sentosa. Trained over. Walked to Sentosa island via the bridge. And the admission fee to Sentosa is only $1, cheap cheap ♥

Went to Beach station, sit by the beach for half an hour, he played his game and rot while I stare at girls in bikini :B Sounds tiko, but who cares :D Then we slow walked to the luge and take the 1 way sky ride and it cost us $17 for 2 person, expensive :(

The way up the sky ride was a little hilarious, shall keep my mouth shut. Heheheheh! Then we walked to see how much is the Tiger Tower(?) but we ended up not taking it, cause we don't think it's the right time :D We took tram back to vivo, cause we're both tired.

Walked over to Pets Safari, looked at hammies and doggies. OMG! I swear the doggies are super cute! Feel like getting one~ BBJ is thinking of getting one in the future (Y) Then he's looking for a new house for Nino, his little hammy. I envy his hammies, have such a luxurious life, I want them too, Can I?

After which, as we're both super tired, we decided to head home. Bus ride home was awesome, had another round of heart to heart talk with him♥ I love this time the most, cause I get to know something new about him at each new session :D This time round, we talked about his past, and our future♥

And this few days, Im busy packing up my luggage, cause I'll be leaving to China on Monday for 10 solid days. :( Im going to miss my Y1105 with all our whatsapp chat and twitter chat. And of course, Im going to miss my J badly, I can't imagine how am I going to survive with him for this 10 solid days :(

♥,
Rj

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POSTED BY RuiJia. @ 01:05
June, Please be good to me.

Though school is busy and stress, but i still have my J beside me. We’re progressing fast and steady, but the funny thing is that we’re not OFFICIALLY together yet. But we look as though we're together already.


And we're going to exchange letters with each other everyday, from now on ♥ And we're going to get a box to keep all our letters in it. And we're going to read them one by one in the future ♥


Omg, so sweet right ♥ Actually, I wanted to write down every text message he sent me. But he doesn't want me to do that, cause he scared I'll get tired of writing, thus he came out of this idea ♥ How sweet right? So I'm going to write every little part of my life with him to give him and the future us to read ♥


♥,

Rj.

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POSTED BY RuiJia. ON Thursday, 2 June 2011 @ 01:03
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