Taken on some random days while waiting for the lecture room to be opened♥

I wonder what will I do if someday, somehow, this bond starts to change D: Choi choi, touchwood, cross fingers, pray hard, NOTHING WILL HAPPEN BETWEEN US :)

♥,

Rj.

Went over to Changi V on Monday evening for our first and last practice. Hahaha! I swear, I've not been touching my 老公（中阮） for like a year plus D: I'm sorry 老公 for not touching you for so damn freaking long. But there's no practice in Foochow. Sorry, but you know I still love you right? :)

Wore quite formal on Thursday (21st July) , which makes my classmates to ask me why am I wearing until so pretty. HAHAHAHHA!~ I was like, "Oh, going dating :)" Damn funny, I swear! That awkward moment.

The performance was not a good one, cause it's like so screwed up D: shall not talk about it! Thanks Les for being there to chat with me on phone, cause for the both nights when I bus back home with Shiying, I felt super stressed up. Thanks to someone for screwing them up! :/ I almost break down in the bus. But lucky, I hold them back!

Still, it's a fruitful week! But I'm being so unproductive D:

♥,

Rj

♥,Rj

Nothing much to say about it, but everything goes pretty well for it♥ Photos are all up on Facebook! Click here to have a look at them: http://www.facebook.com/media/set/?set=a.10150246200223731.329301.545768730&type=1

♥,

Rj.

Waiting for Bev cause we've to head down to our briefing for our job :D Trained down to Queensway(?) together with Best and Sebas, but they alight at Bugis.

Went briefing with Bev, Bud (Leong Zhiwei) and Bev's cousin, Jasreel :) Then trained home♥

♥,

Rj.

Joanne and I feeling so sweaty and tired!

School as usual!

After school, hurried down to Tamp with Joanne to look for cakes for our beloved Jq and Yy's birthday. Trying to surprise them with a small little celebration :D

Rushed down to Tamp, saw no queue koi, so we bought ice cream milk tea :D Then we rushed over to T1 to see the bakeries stores for cake. Spent 30 minutes to search for it, but we ended up buying from the emicake(?) Blackforest type, $26 (I think)

Went to buy mac, cause the both of us know we'll not have time to queue for food later when we reach school. Eat while walking, waiting for bus. Rushed over to Mensa and surprised them with the cake :D

We scream and shout and I felt I'm being a AS (attention seeker) Cause I'm the one who scream and shout, thanks to the wind that blow the fire off instead of cooling me down. HAHAHAHAHA! Sang birthday song, cut cake and eat!

After which, we've to rush over to Eng Fund, cause it's a lab and it's not good to be late. When I've the name of BEINGLATE #foreverlate :D and that's simply everything about the whole celebration!

Finally, got a clique photo♥

For more photo of the celebration, Click here: http://www.facebook.com/media/set/?set=a.10150242139248731.328286.545768730&type=1

♥,

Rj.

11th July 2011 - Dinner trip with Bev and Sinee♥

Met Bev at Bk and bus down to Tpy.

Collect our koi, cause we ordered beforehand :D Like-a cool! Walked over to the Kopitiam at the basement of the interchange, beside mac. Had a plate of prawn mee, didn't really finish it. Cause super big plate but it's worth the price :) $3.50

Thinking of places to photo-spam. So went to the park opposite the interchange. Seriously, photo-spammed on the bridge and at the park! I love the moment that we just spam photos! Regardless is it unglam or whatsoever. Just love it!

Headed home at 10pm, cause I don't want to stay out too late. Hahahaha! Nothing much to say already. If you want to see more funny photos of us, go to my Facebook and go to the album named: Dinner with S and B ♥

Or click here: http://www.facebook.com/media/set/?set=a.10150241338988731.327989.545768730&type=1

♥,

Rj.

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I still miss you, but I've no courage to tell you anymore. You already have your life with the other girl when you're the one saying "I don't need love now" It's kinda ironic, but that's your choice.

I know I've no right to say anything, but she got a boyfriend, and you're like the 3rd party in between them. Why? Why must you make yourself in such a situation where people will talk bad about you?

I envy that girl, who can make you break your rules, who can let you fight for her, who can make you like her so much. I really wish to know who's she, who can make you fall so much.

I think life is unfair, I loved you so much, but yet you choose to love a girl who already have a boyfriend. Why can't you look at me again and give me a fucking chance?

I know it's impossible for us. I know that you won't even look at me anymore. You said let's be friends, but why our friendship is so frozen? Don't talk at all?

You said you didn't play my feelings, but why now I feel that it's just a lie. Sorry if I'm thinking this way, but from the words you said, makes me think this way. Sorry!

I know I should let go, but it's freaking difficult. Cause I've see future in us, and now you're having another future with another girl. You know how much it hurts me?

I know I'm being stupid and stubborn for holding on to something that is never coming back. But there's a phrase saying "When you're going to let go, think of why did you hold on for so long?"

I am going to fight back for this love, but I don't know how. I can't tell you that I love you, I can't tell you that I miss you. I can only hide all my love in myself. I know I'm stupid, because I've been crying these few days. Cause you're freaking close with that girl.

I've nothing much to say anymore :'( I want you to know, I really love you! I really do.

♥,

Rj.

Published with Blogger-droid v1.7.2

Woke up at 5.30 in the morning, and headed over to the association and board the bus.

I've got nothing much to say for the trip. THE FOOD IS AWESOME BUT THE TRIP IS BORING. CAUSE ALL AUNTIES AND UNCLES :(

Reached Singapore, went home, and rush down to airport to pick brother up! Although it's like 12am, and I'm dead tired already, but I still went. Cause I didn't send him off, but I'm still good enough to fetch him ♥ Reached home again at 1am!

♥,

Rj.

Published with Blogger-droid v1.7.2

Had some lepak session and catch up with him though. Long John Silver for lunch, his treat :/ Hahahaha! Awkward but ya, still his treat :D

Didn't spend too long for this lepak session cause I wanna be home early and study? Hahahahah! STUDY? Took 23 with him, slept all the way. Hahahah!

While he took his 147 to collect his pay, I went home~ And guess what, no one at home. So ended up lepak until 7. Hahahahahha! From 5 to 7, just lepak.

Then sit in front of the computer, and started surfing net and blog~

♥,

Rj.

Met Bendy for movie, FOUR. Cause I've won myself a pair of free ticket. First person to look for, it's him :) Cause brother is not in Singapore and I'm a loner now :) And because he once told me ask him out for movie someday (when I watched Rango alone like long ago, LONER D:)

Koi with my darling girls, Joanne and Yueyi :) Then bid goodbye to them :( And guess what, Bendy is being such a good man! Cause he came to pick me up! :D I swear I'm super happy, cause it's like he's picking me up on his car for the first time :D

Waited for him at the bus stop, hopped on his black beetle! I swear his car is super CHIO! I love it to the max la! Can't stop smiling all the way when I'm on his car can! WE BLAST MUSICS LIKE WE'RE PARTIALLY DEAF~ Cause he upgrade his sound system, so he just blast his songs only! The base is AWESOME (Y)

All songs also have, Party rock anthem *Everyday we're shuffling*, On the floor, Dynamite and a lot more :D Even thai songs! I love it when it comes to blasting musics ♥

Drive all the way to Shaw Lido :) Movie was rated 3.5/5 it's a thai horror movie. Lucky it's a thai movie, if not I will see Bendy sleeping :D He love thai, I think. Some part of the movie shocked me, and I push until Bendy's hand. HAHHAHAHAHA! He was like O.O and then push me back. HAHAHA!

After movie, had a hard time thinking of where to dine. And he starts to talk to me in thai. I suck in that, but I'm trying my super best to learn :D Went to retrieve his car, and I saw a freaking cockroach! I was like WTF~ and he was like WHAT? He wanted to hit the roach out, but if he does that, it will hit the door and re-bounce back. SO NO DIFFERENCE. Ended up losing where it ran to.

Saw his friend, when we're out of the carpark. Hahaha! Awkward moment, I swear! He was like "My cousin" Hahahah! YES, WE CALLED EACH OTHER COUSINS. BUT THERE'S NO BLOOD RELATION BETWEEN US. HAHAHAHHA! Up the highway, and we're still thinking of what to eat.

At first, I thought of going Geylang for dinner. But didn't dare to voice out, cause I scared 不顺路。After that, he say "Eh, want go Geylang eat? Dai mai (Can or not in thai)" I was like "Dai ~ (Can) I wanted to say go there eat, but I scared 不顺路 " Hahaha. Ended up heading over to Geylang for dim sum ♥

Nice Lunch + Dinner + Supper session there! Cause it's delicious and it's his treat :D Saw his colleague there, like so 巧. They're working in Tp, and Bendy was like "This is my cousin, she wants to join Dragon boat." My face is like WTF face. They chatted awhile, and they went in to find a seat while I continue eating my food.

Went to get the car, and guess what, WE SAW ANOTHER INSECT! A I-DON'T-KNOW-WHAT-INSECT, SUPER BIG! I SWEAR, Bendy was like "Later we faster open door, go in and close the door, Ok?" I get everything done quickly, cause the insect is nearer to me, and I'm freaking scared! Then this stupid Bendy, still not fast enough, and the insect came in! I WAS LIKE WTF! THE INSECT COME IN, THE TWO OF US WAS LIKE CHUASAI!

Opened the door, and wait till it walks out. Lucky it did, if not we'll just cry in the car :( HAHAHAH! He sent me home, and he was like asking me

Him : "Eh, I can smoke not"

Me : "Smoke la"

Him : "Don't want la, later your shirt got the smell"

Me : "Never mind one la"

Him : "Don't want la, but smoke after eating, the feeling SHIOK!"

Me : "Then smoke la"

Him : *Wind down the window, SMOKE* "Eh, got smell not?"

Me : "Got ah"

Him : "Wa, I tried my best to blow out le"

Me : "Aiya, no need so ma fan de la. Just smoke la"

*SILENCE*

He damn funny la, want smoke, then say scared my shirt got smell. I'm not scared lo. Hahaha! Cute "cousin" HAHAHHAHAHAH! Caring "cousin" indeed, scared my shirt got smell then scared my mom question me. HAHAHAH! Actually I'm shocked when I saw that pack of cigg in his car luh. But aiya, it's ok la. Smoke only~ MAYBE someday, I also have one pack with me :D

He dropped me off at the block outside and I walked in. Hahha! I can feel that he left only when he saw me walked out of his sight. Hahaha, cause I can hear the music that is blasting from his chio beetle♥

Ps. Imissyoujawj, I still do.

♥,

Rj.

Monday blues, not in a good mood.

I swear I miss you super much! I swear I want you that much. But the truth is that you're gone now, it might not be gone forever, but for now, you're no longer mine :(

Yes, I'm still unable to take it. I'm still crying over it. But I'm trying to stop myself to feel sad. Im going to use this tears to make them the power for me to hold on :) I should be proud that I've once had you! I should be proud that I love you so deeply.

You're the first one I love so deep, you're the first one I think of when people ask me whether I'm in love. In fact, you hold a lot of my first time(s) Not saying hold hand, hugs, kiss, and definitely not SEX (that happens after marriage) You should be proud too :)

We're now friends, and I'm trying my best to treat you as my friend now. I'm teaching myself to learn to let go of that 2 months, and start afresh with you again :) So start from friends!

♥,

Rj.

23 down to Opp Tamp safra, then change bus 59/89 (I forgot :/) to Changi V! Met Eric at the market and we walked over to the terminal. Had difficulty in renting bike, cause we seriously have no idea on which shop to rent from. CAUSE ALL ARE LIKE OF THE SAME PRICE, AND WITH THE SAME KIND OF BIKE!~

Ended up in renting from shop 25 (I think) I love that bike that I ride, cause the seat got suspension :D Feel shiok when sitting on it. HEHEHEHEHEHE! But it cost like $8! When the board says $2? Felt a bit cheated, but still worth it. Cause can ride from 3pm to 7pm! With $8 ONLY!

Ride the whole island, and I swear it's super tiring! Cause it's up slope! But I love it when it comes to the down slope! Then I realised the real meaning of "Sweetness comes after bitterness" HAHAHAHAHA! Cycled in drizzle, and the mud splashed on my face and back D: FAILED!

Returned bike, return to mainland, bus down to Pasir Ris :) Get a seat in Just Acia before I went for wash up! Back to the rest, and our food arrived! :) A little pissed off while scooping the ice cream. Shall not say, but don't let me see those guys again! Cause they pissed me off! Still give me those super cannot-make-it face -.- Returned to seat with a super black face, clique was like shock! Hahaha.

Arcade next, cause need to warm up my body, cause too cold~~~~ A round of Jubeat, A few rounds of the Spongebob game (just to get the tickets), A round of air hockey, A round of Daytona (idon'tknowhowtospell) Exchange the tickets with 4 pens, 2 sour sweet and a coffee candy.

Took 21, photo spam on bus, happy :D Monique and Eric alight first at TPJC. While Sy and I continued to Tamp. The route reminds me of JOELANG! Bought breads and took 23 home. Wanted to buy Koi, cause there's no queue and no waiting queue. But I'm freaking out of cash D:

Wanted to sleep in bus, but failed. And home sweet home :)

♥,

Rj.

Am so happy, to meet my hikies (my second family) for lunch instead of dinner :) Met at City square for Aston! Had a great catch up with them ♥

Bought gummies and lepak in the mall. Listen to how young girls gossip about school and love life? I realized they're like so bitchy :/ Hahaha! Then I found out that, I used to be like this too. They used vulgarities like free, just like how often I used them when I'm at their age.

Come to think of it, Oh my god, I'm feeling old. I'm out of the days when I'm still wearing uniform lepaking with my friends around school around / in school. I miss the days so much. I miss the days when I feel loved every month by different people :/ I miss the days when people spam my blog calling me a bitch. I miss the days when I go recess and lunch with my girlfriends. I miss every single thing about my secondary school.

But, they're all the past. They're not going to repeat. I don't want them to appear again. History are meant to be history. It's nice to miss, but not nice to stay in. At least I know that all these happens before and create the RUIJIA now.

Had a few rounds of kart rider with Brandon! Photo spam there :D Had group photo and went off to Boon Keng for my hair cut with Sinee! Then we bused down to Bugis :)

Wanted to get Koi, but the queue is killing D: So we ended up go lepaking first :D lepak at iluma, but the security says not sitting at the sky park. Then we went back to Junction. Bought sushi, and plain water and lepak outside the cinema.

Finished sushi, we headed over to street > Koi > walked all the way to parklane and took 857 home.

And that's all about the day.

♥,

Rj.

Yes, he's gone. I mean, we're now friends, just purely friends. He's not ready yet, so ya.

Although I cried a lot, although I hurt a lot, although I don't want to let him go, although I don't want to lose him. But still, I've to respect his decision. No point making him stay when he's heart don't belong to you.

I'm not going to give up on him, I'll continue to wait. Wait till the day he's ready, wait till the day he's ready to fall in love again. That girl might not be me, but I'll still wait. That girl might be someone else, who can give him the real happiness.

Frankly speaking, I never felt so loved before. As in, I've never love someone so much before. You're the first, and I made you the last. Although you choose to leave me now. I won't change the fact of making you the last one I love so much.

Sorry for that stupid "missing" act. I swear I'm out of my mind. I thought it could prove that you'll still get worried for me. But actually, it doesn't work. It only get you hate me D:

My heart tells me to be true to you. So I confess my sins to you. Even though you forgave me, but I still can't forgive myself for doing that. Sorry!

Since now we're friends, I hope that you'll be the true one and stay by me and listen to all my sorrows and hurts. Not from you, but other things. :)

I don't know how to prove to you that I still love you, cause I've never tried to show such feelings in the past before. I just want you to know that I still love you, I'll give you time to think. We're just giving ourselves a break. To prove that we love each other. Right?

♥,

Rj.